All the dresses I’ll wear to accept my book awards
Only thing missing are the nominations 👀
I’m currently halfway stuck in between new years resolutions (write more fiction and publish to great acclaim) and awards season (pretty red carpet dresses and jealousy at those writers who just write so well).
Oh, and it’s Paris fashion week so all the instagram baddies are crowding my sidewalk, making me queue at the bakery, and preventing me from going home!
In a desperate bid to procrastinate my short story that’s really going nowhere, I present to you my 5 top dresses to attend awards to.
Caveats:
You need to be invited to the awards
You better have negotiated that advance well because holy cow are those dresses expensive
In this fantasy, i am a 6ft tall slim skinny model and everything fits me perfectly
Come back in 5 years (or less, I’m absolutely open to blessings and miraculous interventions!) for the sad reality of finding a dress on a budget that will fit my 4ft7 (and a half!) frame, with curves and all that jazz.
Hugo Award(s)
I’m of course getting a Hugo award, either for best novel or best series (or both!). It’s the OG awards for science-fiction, so I’ll wear this amazing metallic number from Valdrin Sahiti. The blue and hints of gold are totally giving spaceship, and I feel like the shape is futuristic enough to make me Empress of the Whole Known Galaxy.
Philip K. Dick Award
I’m sorry Philip, but the first thing I think about when you name is pronounced is the gigantic amount of mushrooms of all kinds that you tried to put into your mouth. In your honor, I will therefore become the biggest, most imposing fungus possible.
You know this is the most reality-bending shit available because this pixelated mess is the best I can find in terms of pictures.
World Fantasy Award
This is def a fantasy award, like elves, forest spirits, folklore oriented kind of thing. You win a cute statue of a tree holding a sun, so I think Teuta Matoshi is the perfect designer for it! It’s soft, it’s giving Arwen vibes, and it has the most gorgeous flowers!
Locus Awards
Tbh I’ve never known what the vibe of the Locus was. To me they’re the Hugos little cousin, a bit weird on the side — and also i keep hearing “locusts” which is totally not the same thing. Therefore, they’re my wild card, and I’m hesitating between two Miss Sohee dresses: a peacock feather sleeveless, or a huuuuge embroidered train… Of course i’m taking the jewelry with too!
The Arthur C Clarke
My brain is hardwired to associate Clarke with deep space stories ever since i first read his work as a kid. As such, the only acceptable dress is from Iris Van Herpen.
The internet tells me this costs anywhere between $30K and $100k, BUT i could potentially rent this for $800 (no K) a night, and i think that’s a real steal to dazzle like the space fairy i am!
The British Fantasy Awards
I chose that wonderful Joan of Arc dress (because fuck the English!) and it’s associated bolero (because yay capes!). I like the heavy embroidery (which totally justifies the heavy price tag), and Joan is just the best person to channel for awards night.
Credit where credit is due: I found this dress on Sophie Silvia on instagram, who wore it brilliantly to the Bridgerton premiere.
Money count
A full award season, in which I’m nominated for all the prizes, will require i spend $18K on dresses (if i rent the most expensive ones!) — i better get a good agent and sell all my film rights!
This was a lovely exercise, which taught me I have really expensive taste when it comes to dresses, and reminded me that my own true love is shiny.
Bonus nomination for this Selkie dress, which is gorgeous and so on theme, but not formal enough for the glitz of getting a trophy. Will for sure wear while attending the day-time programming of Worldcon the day after my Hugo!
If you live in Paris, i hope you’re not too bothered by the fashion week people — remember that it’s only the Men’s cycle right now, the Women’s are coming soon and people are so much worse 😭
Thank you for hyping me up when i showed that Joan dress the other day Yehudis Milchtein, Emily Spinach, Karena, Michelle Elisabeth Varghese, Ved Shankar
See you next time,
Ok these are all gorgeous! You may need to incorporate multiple dress changes so you can squeeze in as many as possible. I wouldn’t worry about the money. I’m thinking you’ll be so popular people will want to dress you for free.
I was in vacation in Paris during the fashion week and omgggg can the cafés near république stop turning into a daylight club ???
Anyway I loved your post and I love how your brain works!!