So... i’ve lost nanowrimo

A few lessons from this weird little adventure

👋 Hello, i’m back from the nanowrimo tunnels!

Sorry i left you all without any news for those 2 weeks, but i got a bit busy. I tried to do nanowrimo¹ – that’s when you write a full book in 30 days.

And well, i failed. Not entirely, because i did plot a while thing, learned a lot about book structure, and wrote a full (unreadable) 10K words! But still, not only did i not write a full book, i also abandoned the idea on Nov 15th, halfway through the month.

I want to pretend that it’s because the entire org is down (read here if you missed that drama) and there are no forums for community, but honestly i don’t want community when i’m doing that much work lol. It’s exhausting enough on its own to not have to also chat up everyone in the process.

But still, here are some things i’ve learned.

1 - i didn’t have a burning desire to write a book and it was still ok

That stupid advice you get all the time about how “my story needed to be written” or “if you really feel it in your soul, it’ll come out no matter what”... well i think that’s crap.

I’ve never once in my entire life had a burning desire to write any special story. Don’t get me wrong, i like writing, and i take joy in putting just the right words together to say what i want (not that i’m any good at it yet, sadly).

But any story i’ve ever thought of, or even started to write, well if i’d given it up, everything would have been fine. They’re not very original², so someone else would have written it one day or another. I don’t lose anything by not writing them out, and i don’t feel regret or anything really at the thought of not getting them done.

That’s one of the reasons why i never started nanowrimo: i thought that you really needed to find a story you were at least a little bit enamored with, something that made your heart beat. But that never happened to me, and i very much do want to write stories and be a writer, so i just got started with the first idea that came to mind that was deep enough to warrant novel-length writing (from my beginner’s point of view).

I see a lot of advice saying you don’t need the perfect story to start, just pick one you like and are excited to write. I’ll go further: just pick one that doesn’t seem too bad and run with it. Burning hearts not required.

2 - if you don’t love it, it’ll be harder

Now i’m pretty sure nanowrimo is hard for everyone. When you’re trying to write a novel – that’s about 50k words – you can’t just fly through it without any obstacles. That’s around 1,6k words per day (i never did that, more on schedules later), so it’s a lot. Everyone gets discouraged, everyone struggles (except brilliant assholes but i don’t want to talk about you fuckers!).

BUT, when you’ve chosen a story idea that you weren’t even that much in love with because you’re not in love with anything, well, it’s quite a bit harder. I don’t want to fall into the hardship olympics, but i will still take a stand and say that my experience was the hardest of all, please clap and applaud my miraculous victory defeat!

I was curious to see if after spending so long on the book i’d be more taken with it: no, i’m not. That’s a bit sad to think about, but that’s the truth: i didn’t make me love my story more. If anything, i like it a bit less because i wrote it so shittily – but that’s what editing is for.³

3 - you ain’t writing 1,6k words a day!

There are the days when i have a 3 hours long dance class, there are the days when i go to the cinema with my colleagues, and then there are the days when we catch up on Zootopia and Avatar (the blue people one) on the office’s big screen because some of us didn’t see those movies and we’ll go see the sequels in the cinema later this month⁴.

Oh and i also saw an opera which takes FIVE (5) FUCKING HOURS so i didn’t write on that day either.

Anyways, the tip here is to print out a calendar and find which days will be a big fat zero, and which ones you can type it out for forever. Here’s mine for reference:

>>> add photo of calendar

I set various daily goals depending on how busy and tired i expected to be that day. I had a mandatory week of holidays, so that was 3k words days, to compensate for the rest of things (like the week when my New York colleagues visited us and we fined and dined on the princess’s accounts).

The trick is to keep them small so that they’re reachable and you can actually get to your rewards (see point 5 for mine), but also size them up just enough so that they get you writing on days you don’t want to. I had 2 daily goals: write 100 words (to get me started) and then write whatever bigger “real” number i’d chosen for that day.

I quit about halfway through the week of 3k words/day, not because it was unsustainable but because i was tired of the story and couldn’t care anymore. I did reach every single daily goal until then though! I didn’t want to burn myself out on a stupid story so i thought a big break was in order. I’ll probably pick it back up later though, because i think it’s a decent idea!

4 – you don’t need fancy software (but back it up!!)

I saw so many people setting up Scrivener and whatever other complicated things and bobs, but you don’t need all that (i love specialized software like no tomorrow, but i couldn’t be bothered this time). You love it? Live for it!

Otherwise, google docs is just fine. I’d advise one file per chapter + a master file with everything copy pasted in it (it’s easier to check your total work count that way!).

Back that shit up: don’t just leave it in google drive, also download a local copy once in a while. I even printed it out for myself because i’ll want that for editing,⁵ and also it was satisfying :)

5 - you are a goblin, find a treasure

Since you (i) don’t love your (my) story, you need something to get going and, even more difficult, keep going. The want to be a writer and publish a book isn’t enough, nor is the love of the craft (because you’ll (i have) write (written) it like shit).

So, turn your eyes to reward-land and find shit to gift yourself. You can be poetic and write down kisses from your children whom you love more than anything in the whole entire world, but i’m much more pragmatic.

I did 2 tiers of rewards: daily stuff and “milestone” stuff.

Daily things i got:

• A pastry⁶ if i started writing before 11am (otherwise i’d spend the night on my computer forcing myself and that’s not healthy. Pastries aren’t healthy either, but they’re French and from a tiny bakery so i’m supporting a local business in a time of need. Don’t @ me).

  • Number claimed: 16

• A book if i write my daily goal (no book on days where the daily goal is 0 because i’m not Cresus) (2 books if buying second hand because it’s good for the planet. I’m not the one making the rules)

  • Number claimed: 15 (lots of good comics too!!)

  • Wallets broken: 1

And then milestone stuff were expensive things i’ve been wanting for a long time but could never justify.

• For 10K words: this gouache set from Winsor and Newton. Apparently it’s good (idk, i can’t do gouache yet) and i’ve always wanted to learn. Couldn’t justify because i can’t paint lol, but that will make me learn (or at least i have pretty paints to look at!!)

I had other stuff planned out, but since i quit i’ll have to ask for them as Christmas presents. Or make myself another challenge. Or just keep wistfully look at them once in a while, not ready yet to spend that much money on headphones or a hair tool (i will buy myself a nice office chair soon though, my back isn’t too happy with my pouf⁷)

Endwords

That was it, that was all! I hope you enjoyed this little round-up and accepted my apologies for forgetting about you for a full month :) i am truly regretful i promise!

I won’t tell you what the novel is about just yet because it sucks too much. I’ll leave it in a drawer for until after the holidays then i’ll get to writing the end⁸ so it’s less a pile of shit and more of an organized tower of containers full of shit (but broken down). After that, ask me again :))

How is your life going? Please tell me, i haven’t been reading much on substack this month! Did i miss a big scandal? (last i checked, boyfriends were embarrassing, so catch me up on the tea!)

Did you also attempt nanowrimo? How did it go for you? What would you add to my list?

Read you next time,

1. stands for NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth — i guess it’s national because the usa started it? but it’s always been an international affair from what i see.

2. nothing is, tadam what a profound thought!

3. well, that’s if i make it to the end of the story first!

4. corporate team bonding™ is a lovely thing when you get to choose the activity, and it’s being stuck together in a dark room eating popcorn and never ever interacting with each other!

5. tip: print in double interline + with margins to “simplify the editing” – it gives you a big fat stack of stuff!!

6. bit of a tangent, but my favorite one is back! It was (rightfully) cancelled for a few years because its old name was “n-word head”, but now it’s back and called “the marvelous” so i’m happy!

7. that’s French for bean bag apparently

8. narrator: she quit right at the end of the first act, there’s still lots to go!